


tfw radish = snake = milk = FEELYAMS

by banh_bao



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ???? - Freeform, Cannibalism, M/M, Memes, i promise this isn't how i actually write, im sorry god, kind of, ppl die, shitfic, this is horrible i am so sorry, uhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-26 16:33:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3857491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banh_bao/pseuds/banh_bao
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yamaguchi and Feel have many things in common.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tfw radish = snake = milk = FEELYAMS

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [take me 2 chruch](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3789865) by [chika](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chika/pseuds/chika). 



yamaguchi had always been a shy coward. for years, he’d hidden behind tsukki; he feared his classmates.

 

they were cruel, they could never understand why he was so weak. he wished and wished that someone would help him.

 

no one did

 

until the day he met tfw no gf.

 

feel held him in his arms as he sobbed. feel’s face reflected worry and anger. yamaguchi turned away, thinking the anger was directed at him

but it was not

 

**[4/29/15 7:24:56 PM] Moki: feel's face reflected tfw no gf**

**[4/29/15 7:24:57 PM] Moki: omg**

 

Feel said, “i have no gf. just like you. you are not alone”.

 

**[4/29/15 7:25:40 PM] Moki: I know tfw no gf too well, yams**

 

he caressed yam’s tear-streaked face with his milky white hands...

 

**[4/29/15 7:26:20 PM] plaidprint: I'm ummm...just gonna go now....**

 

yams smiled, because he had finally met someone who also knew That Feel

 

**[4/29/15 7:26:30 PM] Moki: RIP RI OMG**

**[4/29/15 7:26:34 PM] Moki: Knew That Feel**

**[4/29/15 7:26:53 PM] plaidprint: I'm so scared**

 

years later, yamaguchi awoke to sunlight filtering in through the window shades

 

**[4/29/15 7:28:14 PM] Moki: oH GOD**

 

he turned and lovingly faced his dear partner

 

**[4/29/15 7:28:23 PM] Moki: I don't like where this is heading**

**[4/29/15 7:28:26 PM] Moki: pLS**

**[4/29/15 7:28:41 PM] Moki: 'I finally know tfw gf'**

 

“i know tfw no gf because I don’t need a gf” he whispered into his lover’s ear

 

**[4/29/15 7:29:35 PM] kingtooru: I saw a meme and I came ruining**

 

feel awoke to yam’s sweet voice and they embraced each other beneath the sheets

 

**[4/29/15 7:30:07 PM] Moki: came ruining or came running**

**[4/29/15 7:30:10 PM] Moki: we're ruining rn tbh..**

**[4/29/15 7:30:34 PM] kingtooru: RUNNING**

 

yams reached down and grasped feel’s long white radish

 

**[4/29/15 7:30:47 PM] kingtooru: I came running**

 

it was like a horse’s.

 

**[4/29/15 7:30:51 PM] Moki: JULI A PLEASE**

**[4/29/15 7:30:55 PM] kingtooru: radish**

 

a horseradish

 

**[4/29/15 7:31:01 PM] Moki: I'M GOING TO RUN**

 

the long white appendage came to life at his touch. literally.

 

the dick turned into a white snake and slithered off of Feel’s body (although perhaps it should have become a chicken)

 

Feel said “oh fuck but i need to pee”

but he couldn’t since his radish was gone

all that was left were the supple white globes

yams began to cry again

“i-i’m sorry feel” he said

 

**[4/29/15 7:32:55 PM] Moki: tfw no radish**

 

but Feel said, “it’s ok yam now i truly know the feel”

 

(oh man i hope theresa doesn’t find this tha t would be more awkward than feel’s dick turning into a snake)

 

the white snake returned, creeping back into the bed. it coiled around yam’s long, bare legs and hissed softly.

 

It bit him.

 

yams screamed in pleasure and agony as the long thin fangs penetrated his soft senisvite skin.

“i-it hurts so good!” he cried out

 

the venom spread through his body quickly. however, this was no ordinary, brainless, deadly snake’s venom.

 

it was The Feel

 

“I feel it! I feel the feel, Feel!”

 

the snake went back to its original owner and turned back into a schlong that rivaled hinata’s in size

The radish was very stiff and hot, like a grilled carrot except white. feel groaned, because he also felt The Feely Feel

 

tsukki came crashing in through the door. “Yamaguchi! are your sacred  shallots intact?”

yamaguchi cried out. tsukki stared in horror at feel and yam’s entangled limbs, as well as at the massive horseradish. “HOW DOES THAT EVEN FIT”

it was longer than his forearm, and twice as thick.

Feel melted into a puddle of milklike substance as yams threw a pillow at tsukki’s head and told him to leave.

“I love you” said yamaguchi as he cried ovr the puddle of milk that had once been his beloved.

the funeral took place the next day. Yamaguchi had put the milk in a carton and then drank it. It tasted like bitter tears.

 

as time passed, yamgamuchi still mounred his lost lover. however, he tried his best to move on in life.

yams looked up at the conveniently clear blue sky and said “oh feel, now i know what you meant”.

a single tear slid down his face.

 

and he, too, melted into a puddle.

 

except it was more like liquefied potato

 

because yams

 

feelyams.

 

**THE END**

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I am so fucking sorry. (Bold = my friends)


End file.
